Service

First Submission

raylean | 11.07.2017 | Reports - Place and Worship

This is sissy’s first report – and at the instruction of her real life Superior / Mommy, sissy was to report on her reflections and actions surrounding the Zen of Servitude Page.

Servitude
A state of subjection to an owner or a master. Lack of personal freedom, as to act as one chooses.

This sissy has for many years wanted to serve a Real Woman. Only recently has this sissy actually started down this path.

It is easy to read and ‘understand’ logically what subjugation to an owner means – it’s another to actually ‘own’ and ‘live’ it.

This sissy has struggled with her ego when it comes to really serving her Mommy. This became quite evident today in fact. sissy and Mommy were communicating via phone and text. Mommy was setting ground rules for the day and sissy broke one which resulted in sissy being ignored for a few hours. This action by Mommy made sissy uncomfortable, and immediately tried pushing the boundaries to evoke a response. This sissy knew what she was doing was wrong, but a lifetime of programming overrode her newly found skills.

Sissy was not happy with herself, and more importantly not happy with the way she treated Mommy. This isn’t servitude. This is being inauthentic and selfish. Fortunately, Mommy does love this sissy and we talked through it. This sissy learned more about herself and considers this a win in the column towards losing her ego. It is a long road ahead, but one this sissy is dedicated to following to completion.

The following are sissies results broken down by Zen of Servitude Topics:

Right Here. Right Now.
This sissy has always taken the majority of the domestic duties of the household. This sissy typically cooks most meals and does most of the tidying up. One little thing this sissy has done more since reading is making the bed. It may seem like a small thing, but historically, this sissy’s wife usually made the bed while sissy got ready for work. Now, this sissy makes the bed before jumping in the shower. It was noticed by her wife and it pleased her. (small wins are grand! :))

Keeping up Appearances:
This sissy has been practicing on many fronts to give a more femme attitude and appearance. She has kept her hair cut neatly, and has refrained from biting her nails. Manicures are a blessing in this front – as who wants to mess up such pretty fingers! Sissy has taken on a softer, higher pitched tone when speaking with her Mommy, and with strangers she meets – not co-workers at this time. – Mommy says to take baby steps. Just by being present with her sitting and overall appearance, this sissy feels she is making progress.

Quality Replacement
This one proves to be a challenge in a few categories. For those who follow astrology, I am a Cancer, with Sagittarius Rising and a ton of Gemini. The Cancer, is of course a feminine sign, so my natural state in one of compassion and soft. However, my Sag kicks in and wants to throttle that soft shelled crab. Then Gemini starts yelling from both mouths. The end result, a jumbled up crab with hoof marks, and fishy scales scattered around. In short, sissy’s ego gets in the way. She has though been present and conscious to catch herself when her old personality traits rear up.

Panties
This one is easy, as this sissy has had panties for many years of her life. Sissy had thrown them away a few years ago during one of her ‘I’ll stop wearing panties” phases. After meeting her Mommy again, sissy purchased 6 new pair and wears them everyday.

Sissy is rambling, so will try to keep this short.

Walking
sissy has been purposely walking more feminine – she has been swinging her hips more, and observing how her feet land. She notices she tends to roll her feet outside in. and wonders if she is doing this correctly. More practice is in order.

Kneeling
This sissy has not been practicing her kneeling as of late. This sissy was in a motorcycle accident and cracked her left side of her pelvis in May ’17. This sissy is a runner and is now getting back to stretching and moving more – this sissy is committed to learning the proper way to kneel once her body heals fully.

Punishment
This sissy has discussed this with her Mommy at length. Mommy is finding Her way in dealing with her sissy – both in a compassionate yet firm way. This sissy fully understand punishments may be in order – the challenge for this sissy will be to NOT try to get into trouble for the simple sake of being punished. To this sissy, that is inauthentic and falls under page 1 of Zen of Servitude – an egotistical male mocking the superiority of Women.

This sissy has asked herself each day since reading the Zen of Servitude:

  • Has sissy served a woman today?
  • Has sissy placed a Woman’s needs above her own?
  • Has sissy identified and done some act that as further defined my as the sissy i am?

Most days, this sissy is able to answer all of these questions in the affirmative.
It is this sissy’s intention that through consistent practice, her ego and ‘male’ part of her, will quietly move out and away.

Thank You for taking the time to read this. It has been a pleasure writing and sharing my actions.

This sissy promises to complete the assignments her Mommy doles out and write timely reports.

With Respect,

raylean

Discussion?

Something to share sweetie?