Oh, but now you are scared? You have simply no idea how to flirt as a sissy? You cannot imagine a line or approach that wouldn’t seem contrived or insulting? Don’t worry, that is all about to change. You’ve been practicing many other Assignments, so it is time to add some polish to that behavior with the What a Flirt!
If you are single or in a relationship, it is paramount that you know how to flirt. It not only improves your relationships with others, it also improves your physical and emotional health. Our prerequisite to the following lessons is having an understanding of what flirting is not before elaborating on what it is. It is not a game you need to master. Your intent should never be to manipulate others.
So what shall a sissy do?
Before you start flirting, it is important that you understand the essence of seduction. Flirting is all about interest. It involves being confident, playful, fun, and mysterious. The whole body is involved in the beguiling ballet. There are movements, interactive gestures, and speech. First you must spend time watching how women participate in the rituals of flirtation.
Women use over 52 basic moves as often as 70 or 80 times an hour! Watch a group of women mingling at a bar and notice how many of them will stroke the front of their necks or play with their jewelry. Other behaviors include caressing any object on the table like the rim of a wine glass, cigarette lighter, or pepper mill. After several minutes of the stroking behavior they’ll move into something more obvious like playing with their hair, smoothing their clothes, or adjusting their posture. Some are more brazen and run a lemon slice or a cherry across their lips. This enables women to expose their tongues (a trick borrowed from the animal kingdom), which most of men go crazy over. The body is speaking even when they are not. Be aware of what message is being sent!
You may notice eyebrow flash- an exaggerated raising of both eyebrows for a couple of seconds, followed by a rapid lowering to the normal position, often combined with a smile and eye contact. It is a coy smile, a sort of half-smile, showing little if any tooth, combined with a downward gaze or very brief eye contact. She may move in time to the music while seated, periodically glancing at the object of desire (with a coy smile or two), never being too forward but definitely showing interest. See how the object of desire responds. Does she succeed? What works and what seems to fall flat?
What is said is important, but how it is said is crucial. A friendly opening line can break the ice. What does a woman say? It might be a simple, “hello”. Simply changing the way one says “hi” or “hello” to someone can be very flirty. Saying it deeper, softer and slower along with one of the above flirting gestures can send just the right message. A woman might open with a compliment. Successful temptresses appear interested rather than interesting. They do not focus on themselves entirely, but instead nourish the egos of their targets, inspiring confidence and desire. Women may tease and laugh. They have fun and may transition the ballet into a tango. Listen to what people are saying to each other.
Go home and try to emulate some of the behavior that was attractive. Practice opening lines and flirtatious but not suggestive responses. Be sure to review Our two Assignments on speech training here and here.
Here are some basic do’s and don’t of flirting!
The House of Sissify’s Sweet Sixteen
- Lock Eyes: Briefly connect with your eyes and you have a better chance of meeting. Looking at someone in the eyes is very compelling – it makes a person feel like they’ve got your undivided attention. Don’t look like your trying to remember, if you fed your dog.
- Be interested: Paying genuine attention is a great place to start. There are few things sexier than someone who’s totally into you.
- Flattery: An honest appraisal of what you really feel about this person is a big turn-on, but false praise is a total turn-off.
- Play: Good flirting is fun, so do not be afraid to tease and giggle.
- Touch: Brush arms or hands. Touch is a powerful communicator. Use it sparingly.
- Smile, don’t smirk: Smile openly and sincerely – it’s irresistible.
- Take the initiative: other people are shy too!
- Give others time to get to know you. Nothing terminates encounters faster than a Terminator approach.
- Showing as much interest in your partner’s achievements as you do in your own is the ultimate turn-on. Your job, car, or inflated ego is not an aphrodisiac. Ask open-ended questions and look for humor in
what the person is saying. Be a good listener and learn when not to say anything.
- Make where you are work for you. Anyplace can be a meeting place.
- Try, try again! Flirting is not a one-shot deal.
- Be clear: Make sure your flirting conveys the message you want it to. For instance, there are separate behavioral signals for sexual flirting and for friendly flirting. Keep a check on which one it is that you
want, also the place where you do end up flirting in.
- Dress well: If you are looking for an elegant partner then chances are that you need to be the same. However, if you are looking for a more fun-loving, casual person then dress accordingly. Always
wear something eye-catching. This may be motivation to go shopping.
- Feel good about yourself: Be energetic and vibrant and you will attract people like a magnet.
- Be polite no matter what: It’s not necessary that you will like everybody who approaches you. If you aren’t interested, be polite. It takes a lot of courage to approach someone so be sure to turn a person down in a way that you would appreciate being turned down yourself
- Be yourself. Be original and proud of who you are. Don’t pretend to be somebody else for the sake of impressing. Just be yourself.
And the Dishonorable
- Don’t play the little sissy routine (helpless and innocent); it can get annoying pretty fast. Don’t follow people around or act needy. Remember subtlety.
- Don’t be slick. If you appear too hungry and/or desperate, it may cause a person to wonder why, and choose to reject you before finding out.
- Don’t be negative or critical of others. It makes a sissy sound petty.
- Don’t play stupid. Dumb is dull, although being a know-it-all is also annoying.
- Don’t act silly. Giving head to a pickle or banana just makes you look like a pickle-sucking idiot!
- Don’t whine. Don’t drag personal problems or present troubles into a new interaction.
- Don’t nervously chatter on. Talking too much is a sure sign that you aren’t listening.
- Don’t depend on others to make things happen-go for it yourself
- Don’t tease – offering more than you can or intend to give.
- Don’t fidget – it looks bad makes the other person uncomfortable.
- Don’t let past rejections cloud your judgment or make you paranoid about an interaction going on right now. Don’t dwell on performance – there are many who can perform better than you. (But practice all
of the Behaviour Modifications so that your performance will be at its best!)
- Don’t drink too much alcohol or sully your sparkle with substance abuse. Show that you care about yourself and others.
Successful flirting works when there is a mutual attraction.
Unsuccessful flirting is often the result of being too sexual, too eager to flirt with anyone, too self-absorbed. You must study flirting and practice behaving like the lady that you are becoming. At all times, behave in a manner which is loving and respectful towards yourself and the other person. This includes listening to your gut feelings of comfort or discomfort, and honoring them. Be harmonious in thought, word, and deed. If you give mixed signals, the other people will choose which signal to believe, and it may not be the one you would wish them to believe. Accept full responsibility for your choices. For example, if you don’t want to go to bed with the person, then don’t watch TV or talk in the bedroom!
Flirting is having fun, and when you’re having fun, it’ll be easy to convince others to play. Remember, it should be enjoyable, not rocket science.
- You don’t have to have the perfect face or body to be a good flirt. Nor do you have to be in the prime of youth. All you need is inimitable charm, wit and originality.. all the wonderful qualities We inspire in you!