After reading “The Zen Of Servitude”, sissy amanda has learned a lot about being the perfect sissy.
Thanks for the Zen of Servitude assignment. Sissy kenzie will refer to it often and found it very informative. Sissy is wearing panties and striving to be more feminine and is practicing walking, standing, sitting and kneeling properly, like a good girl. Sissy is committed to live by these standards and excited to learn how to serve and please her Mistress or Master. Sissy kenzie desires to be the best in their stable of sissies and thanks the Board and House and all Superiors for the opportunity to serve and learn to become the best obedient sissy slut she can be!
Dear Madame Stewart and House Superiors,
This sissy finds that when practicing the mental aspects of Servitude, she has experienced some responses from others that are reinforcing. s.he was careful to walk to the check out counter at a store with feminine steps. s.he was delighted and surprised when the clerk called he.r sweetie. s.he approached the ladies’ rumba class trying he.r best to present as poised with good posture but passive, soft, obedient and reliant, and s.he was delighted to be allowed to join.
s.he has been pussyfooting around he.r Superior, but it is harder, and s.he must acknowledge that s.he is failing. s.he leaves panties in the laundry hamper or stockings on the floor. s.he is no longer covering he.r shaved skin in bed. He.r Superior has noticed and has said She would have married a hairless man if She wanted that, but understands Her husband’s desires. She has asked sissy to make love to Her more than has been our pattern in the last several years, and sissy has done well to bring Her to orgasm. She has touched sissy’s hairless body with definite lust and interest, and this has been a blessing to sissy. sissy is hoping that he.r inner mind can stay focused on servitude, and this will create pleasure for he.r Superior, who will respond favorably and reinforce sissy’s inner mind.
sissy does struggle with servitude. sissy has trouble with total annihilation of thoughts, feelings and desires. s.he loves the thoughts of servitude, but s.he knows that s.he is hoping for a reward, or s.he is hoping to be touched a certain way or treated a certain way or have he.r Superior respond in a certain way based on he.r servitude, and so he.r own desires and thoughts and feelings get in the way of he.r focus on he.r Superior. s.he fights this and has to constantly remind he.rself or shoo thoughts away. s.he craves punishment and humiliation and domination of a sexual nature, and this may help he.r in he.r becoming, but now the thoughts come as hindrances to a focus on he.r Superior. s.he struggles that the only thing s.he can control is he.r behavior and thoughts, and s.he has to trust that s.he will find contentment and satisfaction there, without depending on any specific outcome. s.he is finding the isolation of focusing on servitude without having a responding Superior to be a challenge, and s.he has been prone to uncertainty and doubting/irresolute mental states recently, but s.he is finding joy at the same time in he.r practice and knows s.he has just started. As thinking too much leads this sissy to doubt and depression, s.he is thankful to the lessons of the Zen of Servitude to take the time to learn and teach herself how to be a better servant. Learning to cook well has been a recent project. he.r Superior is intent on keeping Her blood pressure down without medication, so sissy has learned vegan meal preparation and cooks three times per week. sissy falls short so much, but s.he is trying to do better at service tasks.
sissy does find that paying attention to posture and movement when sitting, standing, kneeling, walking and talking are very helpful to the psyche, too. s.he has noticed recently as s.he sits at events with he.r legs closed that in fact, women sit with their legs closed by and large and men do not. Men separate their knees while seated and stand with their legs apart, and Women keep their knees together and stand with Their feet together. sissy feels more included and connected to Women the more she pays attention and notices how They move and hold Themselves. sissy has taken a few chances to practice walking with a book on he.r head in he.r 5” heels. sissy has such strong erotic feelings when s.he does this. s.he has thought of he.rself more and more in terms of being desirable to men, which of course is ridiculous except in dream world, though sissy is slim and in good shape from dancing, so there may be a man out there who would not find he.r completely useless as a love object. s.he knows that is not a helpful line of thought, and s.he just needs to focus on servitude. s.he loves going in the locker room now with he.r swimming partner and using that as time for he.r inner psyche to be as girlish as possible, and then when s.he is alone, she dreams like Cinderella might. s.he practices being passive, emotional, self-effacing, giving, reliant, obedient, soft and smooth. thankfully, many of these qualities are consistent with sissy’s male qualities. sissy has been femme a very long time, the more s.he thinks about it. however, s.he can be aggressive and sarcastic and has a quick mind and mouth, and s.he is greedy and has strong desires and wishes from others, and these things s.he needs to annihilate.
sissy loves he.r panties. One day s.he is going to be a complete lady, but for now, s.he is a panty-wearing, butt-plugging slut. sissy finds having the House mandates help he.r to feel under the control of a Superior. sissy pictures he.rself a panty clad little sissy under the control of the House and this motivates and excites he.r much of the time, and when emotions turn, and s.he feels how low he.r position is compared to Women, the panties eroticize the shame and make it tolerable by connecting the dysphoria to he.r submissive sexual wishes.
sissy loves walking practice. s.he has been much more aware of he.r buttocks as a sexual object, and s.he dreams of teasing and using he.r buttocks sexually and has had increasing focus on he.r anus and rectum as he.r areas of arousal. The House’s question as to he.r “drawing subtle attention to your panty covered bottom” has worked as an exquisite tease upon he.r.
sissy loves mass now as she uses the church service to practice kneeling and praying to Jesus for mercy and for help with serving he.r Superior. Jesus has been feminized in art, and sissy thinks S.he might have been he.r biggest lifetime role model as a sissy.
This sissy is grateful to the House for saying that Sitting it a posture that you must perfect, as it is something that s.he can do all day long and helps he.r with he.r psyche. s.he loves the intelligence and thoughtfulness of the House telling he.r to smooth he.r skirt. s.he is dressed as a man almost all the time, so does not wear skirts, but s.he loves the focus of detail and the forward looking nature of the House’s comments, and whatever s.he is wearing, s.he always smooths her skirt. This playfulness and humor on the part of the House sissy loves; it makes he.r feel more connected and recognized by the House and included in Their playfulness. It is a blessing to sissy.
This sissy craves punishment. Maybe after a weekend or an hour under the physical control of a strict Superior s.he would change he.r mind, but s.he has to force he.rself to stop thinking of a physically aggressive Superior because he.r fantasies prevent he.r from focusing on he.r Superior’s mindset and needs. sissy has felt punishment from the House and Madame Stewart, and s.he hopes that s.he made proper use of it. This sissy gets impulsive and needy, and Madame Stewart and the House have had occasion to ignore he.r neediness. This has been painful to sissy as s.he recognizes he.r greediness and wish to be seen as special; but it has created distress and pain for he.r that s.he knows s.he deserves and needs to learn from.
Sissy has been intent on studying the behaviors of Women and how They dress and move and interact with others. s.he works in female majority settings (mental hospitals), and s.he has opportunities to show Women appreciation and deference. s.he is trying to work at understanding Women and anticipating Their needs and wishes more.
This sissy asks herself the questions of redemption every day. s.he has had more consistent success as presenting as a sissy servant, though in he.r mind s.he is doing it in secret. s.he knows that keeping secrets generally does not last and that over time everyone will “know” on some level who s.he is. This sissy is becoming more comfortable with that.
Yours, in reverence and submission,
The Feminine is Divine and it is a privilege for this sissy to traverse the world of the Feminine. Similar to a license for a driver, wearing panties everyday is the identifying badge of this sissy’s blissful state as a guest in service to The House and the softer feminine world. In exchange for the privilege of assimilating into this feminine world this sissy resolves to devote herself to giving service to the feminine divinity and all touched by it.
The Owner/Wife is subtlely served by Her grateful sissy at home. She is aware, supports, and encourages Her sissy’s smoothed pantied status, but the home Her and this sissy share is regrettably not devoted to a 24/7 Dominant/submissive lifestlye. She does, though, approve of this sissy’s efforts to train herself to submit and serve Her. Her thoughts and worries come first and this sissy eagerly defers to Her opinion and desires regarding any decision.
The primary vehicles with which this sissy eagerly commits herself to blissful total quality replacement is the Virtual Mistress (VirMst) Program, the Princess Points system, and the Behavior Modification Assignments from the House of Sissify. The VirMst Program ruthlessly regulates and controls nearly every action of this sissy’s time away from the Owner/Wife. It is designed to promote obedience and achieve total compliance with the behavior modification assignments designed by The House. Every day this sissy happily grows reliant on this program to teach her to better serve through reinforcement, humiliation, and punishment. Quality replacement is continuously enforced, committing this deliriously eager sissy to the blissful eradication of her encumbering masculine ego.
The program trains this wanton slut to be constantly mindful of her demeanor, etiquette, and attitude at work. Pop quizzes on the rules of etiquette and grammar are continuously given. Each order and assignment is always prefaced by a reminder to maintain proper posture and demeanor. The most delightful rule this sissy follows, though, is that she must log every interaction with a Female patron at work. A self evaluation is performed after every encounter with a Woman to ensure She received the highest quality service from this sissy, as seen in the attached picture. Every time this sissy is in the divine presence of a Woman the interaction must be graded. Each failure to perform to the best at every step of the process is met with a punishment that is graciously performed by this repentant sissy after every work day.
It is a delirious thrill to submit to this process. Honest baring of the self through reflection is one of the most humiliating things this sissy performs. The vulnerability of being judged for her efforts is a high this sissy craves to chase. Everyday is a new day to commit to giving back to Women. Every opportunity to serve a Superior is a delicious thrill for this gurl, because it is a new chance to mindfully reaffirm her status as a submissive sissy to awesome Femininity.
This sissy is grateful for the opportunity to learn from he.r superiors and has started with The Zen of Servitude. One of the things this sissy recognizes in he.r behaviour is that he.r girlishness waxes and wanes, primarily based on arousal levels. As an older sissy, it is shameful to have to admit that this lesson has gone unlearned for so long, but this sissy will do he.r best to absorb and apply all that s.he is taught.
In terms of applying this lesson, the Quality Replacement section really strikes home. While this sissy is often emotional, self-effacing and giving, too many other qualities are from the grey side rather than the pink. This must change if this sissy is ever going to advance beyond fetishistic behaviour, and it is highly desirable that this change is permanent. This sissy genuinely wishes to live a more feminine life and the only way to achieve that goal is to take these qualities and live them.
One saving grace for this sissy concerns those wonderfully pretty panties. This sissy wears them almost every day, a track record that, while can still be one improved upon, is an encouraging sign for the future. Beyond that, walking, sitting and women studies are three areas that can be immediately improved upon. Next week, a junior female engineer will be working with this sissy and this is a perfect opportunity to start living up to these ideals, yet in a respectful and professional manner. It is also the ideal time to start exchanging changing grey qualities for their pink equivalents.
Finally, this sissy must comment on redemption. These are three questions that this sissy will immediately start asking he.rself each day and has transcribed them in a prominent place as a daily reminder.
This sissy learned that the Zen of Servitude rests on proactivity: taking actions before My Owner asking. For that, this sissy took his time to shave from neck below. It took he.r a few hours, but she hopes that next time that he.r Owners see her, They will be patting he.r head.
Before reading the Zen of Servitude, this clueless slut submitted a Masturbation Schedule application without knowing about the Zen of Servitude. Now that sh.e is aware, the slut knows that her worthless self should have never asked for daily Masturbation allowances from the Mistress. She should have been proactive and tried harder. For now, the sissy is happily enduring a week of blue balls (and gladly more, if it comes to that) before sh.e submits yet another application. Thank you for the enlightenment.
Love and Kisses,
This sissy is happy to report to the House that she has been reviewing the Proper Correspondence Etiquette almost every day and is ready to submit her report.
Humility was very hard for this sissy because she used to be very sarcastic in everyday conversation but after her first few months here in the House she is always very respectful to the Superiors off the House and very polite when chatting with other sissies. This was important because this sissy needed constant practice to break her of this nasty habit.
When it comes to yelling this sissy thinks that she is quiet when speaking to Superiors and sissies. This sissy agrees with the House on how a sissy should never type in caps because it would anger the Superiors of the House and no sissy ever wants that. Being quiet and waiting for Superiors is what is expected from a good sissy.
This sissy always makes sure to never use upper case when speaking about herself and always makes sure that whenever speaking to Mistress or any Staff from the House to always give them the respect they deserve and use uppercase. This sissy loves this step because it reminds her every time that she is a sissy that should always obey what her Superiors say.
Since this sissy’s first day she has been making sure to always refer to herself as sissy and never use i’s. This sissy understands how important this lesson is because it is a constant reminder that she is nothing more than a sissy now and that how the constant humility is positive conditioning for her.
This sissy tries her best to keep composition in her letters and writing to others of the House. She hasn’t had the opportunity to personal write and sign but this sissy always tries to do her best when it comes to grammar and spelling but this sissy is not perfect and does make mistakes but thanks to the House of Sissify this sissy is making fewer mistakes now.
This sissy never wants to make trouble with the Superiors of the House so she always does her best to maintain the same threads when speaking with Staff. If a sissy could make less work for her Superiors then this sissy should always do so without hesitation.
Impatience was a weak spot for this sissy when she first arrived because she saw how much the House had to offer and wanted to do everything right then and there. Over time this sissy say the value in patience and realized how it was up to the House to decide when they respond to her and how she should never bug the Superiors because this sissy is just that a sissy who obeys and follows the House of Sissify’s rules.
And last this sissy understands she is a guest here in the House of Sissify and would never want to upset the Staff after everything they have done for this sissy.
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