All the globes attention is drawn to the World Cup and though we don’t for one moment think you like football, since it’s far too rough and aggressive, you may be insanely jealous of the British WAG.
A WAG is an acronym used by the British tabloid press to describe the Wives And Girlfriends of high-profile football players such as Bethany Dempsey who is Clint Dempsey’s wife from the USA and Abigail Clancy who is dating UK’s Peter Crouch.
To aspire to be a WAG you need to look very feminine and glamourous, wear pretty girly clothes 24/7 and spend hours making up your face and generally beautifying yourself above.
An additional requirement is to be emotionally unstable, fly off into a tantrum at a moments notice, scream at a broken nail, spend money like wine and be up for spreading your legs and pleasuring men like an adventurous slutt.
I generalise of course, but if you have any of these attributes (I won’t say qualities) you’re well on the way to becoming a top class WAG.
All that is then left to do is doll yourself up, complete our Behaviour Modification Assignments, board a plane and pop down to South Africa. Buy a ticket and watch the games firsthand and you may be bagged by a celebrity footballer who wants to bang one into your sissy net.
Alternatively stay home for the USA vs England match this Saturday but like a true WAG dress up, wear something ludicrously feminine and impractical so that everyone can get a better view of your sissy panties than the match.