I mean, it all started simply enough. A bunch of us were sitting around the frat house. It was slow just then. The nervousness of beginning a new semester was over and midterms were still a month or so away.
The main topic, as usual, was girls.
“Geez,” Joe said, “ever since that key club opened up and Audrey started working as a bunny, it’s been terrible.
She’s always nagging about how she makes more working two nights a week than I make in four hours a day at the garage.
“Yeah, Bobbi, too,” said Eddie. “Not only that, but she keeps goin’ on about what a glamorous job it is and how could anybody stand to work 1n a machine shop.” “It doesn’t matter where you work,” I said. “Leshe keeps rubbing it in about how little I make at the bookstore. I tell her I have to stay in school somehow, but then she just comes back at me with how dull it must be and how she saw this or that celebrity at the club last night. I know she doesn’t mean to make me feel bad, but ….”
“Ah, they’re all a bunch a dumb broads,” grunted Floyd, our resident jock.
“It’s like Howard says,” sighed Eddie, pointing in my direction, “it really makes a guy feel small. I mean, whatta they got that we haven’t got?”
“Tits,” said Floyd.
“Shut up, Floyd,” Joe said.
Eddie looked around the room. “Really, though,” he said, “there isn’t that much difference. Anybody could look good under all the makeup those bunnies wear.” “Even you?” snickered Floyd. “Haw, haw, haw ….”
“Don’t be a drip, Floyd.”
“Yeah, Floyd, don’t be stupid. Or at any rate, don’t be stupider.”
“Watch it, bozo,” said Floyd, climbing out of his chair, “or I’ll fix 1t so ya’ look like ya’ been in a wreck.”
“Wait a minute, you guys,” I said, loud enough so Floyd stopped moving toward Eddie. “I’ll bet Eddie’s right.
With makeup and, ummm, stuff, we could look Just as glamorous as the girls. When I was in San Francisco last summer, my sister and her husband took me to a place called
…..Pinocchio’s, or something like that. Anyway, the whole show is female impersonators and they really look good. But my brother-in-law knows one of them, and we went for pizza after the shows and without the makeup, he’s, well, ordinary.”
“Aw, a bunch a’ fags.”
“Shut up, Floyd.
In spite of Floyd, we got talking about it and from a joke, mostly, it got to a possibility, and from a possibility, it got to seeming like a pretty good idea.
The big Halloween party was coming up, and we made plans to show the girls that if we used the same tricks they did, we could look just as glamorous, and that it wasn’t all that hard to look like a bunny.
We decided we’d meet a week before the party to “practice”. Eddie’s family lived close to campus and they were all going to be away for the weekend, so we planned to get together there. Except for Floyd, who said we must be a “bunch a’ fairies” and wouldn’t have anything to do with it.
The big night came. We’d each been assigned certain jobs. Mine was to ask a friend in the drama department about makeup. I’d practiced on myself, and you Know, it kind of gave me a funny feeling inside when I looked 1n the mirror and here was this girl looking back. I mean, not Brigitte Bardot by any means, but… well… a girl!
When I got there, the first thing Eddie asked was, “Do you think we really ought to do this?”
“Why not?” I said, setting down the makeup.
“Well… maybe the girls will think we really are, you know … strange.”
“I don’t Know about you and Bobbi, but I think Leslie knows me well enough not to worry about that. And once we let them know why we’re doing it, then I think they’ll get the point and won’t bug us so much with this bunny business.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Did you bring the stuff you were supposed to get?”
“Well, I’ve got dresses and shoes. Aunt Sophie was real good about letting me borrow them. I suppose since they’re second hand anyway, it doesn’t matter if they get worn one more time. But I think we ought to have them cleaned before they go back.”
“Fair enough.” There was a chime in the background.
“Is that the phone?”
“Doorbell. Probably Joe.”
It was Joe, carrying a good-sized box.
“Boy,” he said, “this stuff is expensive!”
“I thought you had a sister-in-law in the business,”
“I do, and it’s still expensive!”
“Well, if it makes the point, it’ll be worth it.” We settled down to business pretty quickly after that.
I started out doing makeup. I’d gotten pretty good at it if I do say so, and my friend in the drama department had loaned me three wigs.
I did Joe first, then Eddie, then I did my own face. I think Joe was the biggest surprise to me. He has one of those broad, slightly blank faces that looks like the sort of guy you might picture as a lifeguard or a boxboy.
Definitely nothing special. But put some eye makeup and
lipstick on him and with a blonde wig he really looked terrific.
Then Joe opened the box. First he took out three flat cellophane envelopes.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Pantyhose,” he said.
“Gee,” I said, “I always thought they came in plastic eggs.”
“You,” said Joe, looking me up and down, “got no class.
None at all.”
“Do these go on over or under?” asked Joe, picking up an envelope gingerly.
“I think you suit yourself,” said Joe. “I really didn’t ask about it.”
“What about the rest of the stuff?”
“Well, I got three brassieres. “Ya’ know, Louise, that’s my sister-in-law, says a lot of guys buy this stuff. They say it’s for their wives or sisters, but Louise, she says she can always tell. Hey, Howard, remember that show you saw?”
“Louise says there’s a show like that right in town. Not so big, but the same kind of thing. She says this is the kind of brassiere most of the guys in the show buy. It makes ’em look like they got… uh ….something there when they really don’t.”
As it turned out, Joe was right. Between the brassieres and the padding, I think we could have raised cleavage on a stringbean. The funny thing was the brassiere was a little thing – about half-satin and half-lace. You wouldn’t have thought it could have done that, but it sure did.
Then we put on the pantyhose. Joe opened the box again. “These are the bottom half,” he said.
“But there’s nothing to it!” cried Eddie. And it was a whispy bikini, in colors to match the bra.
“Well, you don’t wear jockey shorts with stuff like this, dummy,” Joe said.
“They’re really kind of nice,” I said, picking up a pair and putting them on, “soft and everything. After all, if we’re going to do it, we might as well do it right.” As I slipped on the bikinis and thought how I must look, I got the oddest feeling, partly in the pit of my stomach and partly all over. It wasn’t a bad feeling. In fact, it was sort of warm and pleasant and
“How about the dresses,” Joe said. “I feel naked in this stuff.”
“Not yet, not until you try on the shoes and get the hang of ’em. I don’t want you guys falling all over the house in Aunt Sophie’s dresses. She could hardly put them back in the shop all torn up.”
Joe complained, but eventually agreed. As for me, I was kind of interested by this time to see how it would feel.
All the shoes were high heels. Joe found a pair of black patent leather pumps that fit with only a little squeezing.
Eddie had already picked out a pair in imitation alligator, and I found a pair covered with a pretty brocade which fit me as though they were made for me. I slipped them on and suddenly realized I was breathing faster than usual and my hands were sweaty. Either I was coming down with flu, or there was definitely something to this dressing up business.
At first, we did fall down a fair amount, but after a half-hour or so, we got the hang of it pretty well. That was when we began horsing around, pinching each other on the behinds and making rude remarks. We were all laughing pretty hard, which is, I suppose, why we didn’t hear the car drive up.
Suddenly, the front door burst open. There stood Audrey and Bobbi and Leslie. I’ll never forget that moment. All I could think of was Leslie’s eyes on me as I stood there in high heels, pantyhose, bra and bikini panties.
Bobbi spoke first. “Well, I’m certainly glad you gave me that key, Eddie. If you hadn’t, I’d never have found out what kind of guy I was mixed up with. And it certainly looks like “mixed up” is the right phrase.”
“Look at the little darlings,” Audrey said. “We do seem to have been involved with some gay birds.”
Leslie didn’t say anything, but I saw shock in her face and something I couldn’t identify.
“But how did you….”
Joe began, “who told….”
Then, from out in the car, I heard a male voice say, “What I tell ya’! A bunch a’ pansies!”
“Now wait ….” Joe started again.
“Shut up, blondie!” snapped Audrey. “My God, you look silly.” She and Bobbi started to laugh, but it wasn’t very pleasant laughter. Leslie didn’t really join in.
“Look, Bobbi….” Eddie said.
“You shut up, too!” Bobbi yelled. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, seeing you standing there in panties. And I thought you were a real man….”
It went on like that for awhile. We tried to dish it out as well as take it, but a guy’s at a disadvantage in underwear, especially when it’s the kind he isn’t supposed to wear.
Finally, the girls turned and walked out. I heard Floyd laughing as they drove off. We got cleaned up and Eddie and I went home. Nobody said much.
I tried to keep a low profile on campus for the next week or so. I’ll say this for the girls, they didn’t seem to want to spread the story around. I guess they had each other to commiserate with. Or maybe they were worried about being associated with such “perverts”.
I should have known I couldn’t avoid contact for ever, though. I was sitting in a corner of the student union, being inconspicuous and feeling crummy, when someone slid into the seat next to me. It was Leslie.
“Now look,” I began, “I can understand you’re pretty angry, but….”
“Im not. I’m not angry now. I just don’t understand it.
Why would you want to make fun of women like that?”
“I wasn’t! I’ve never tried to make fun of women. If you really want to know, the whole idea was to make a point.”
Leslie was taken aback. “What point?” she asked, genuinely puzzled.
I explained as well as I could. “So you see,” I finished, “I realize you thought I looked pretty silly dressed up like that, so….”
Leslie put her hand on mine. “But I didn’t!” she said. “Really. I thought honestly, I thought you made a very pretty woman.”
To say I was surprised was putting it mildly. I started to say something but she hushed me.
“And more than that …Eddie and Joe looked awkward in their things, but you looked… I guess comfortable is the best I can do. You looked as though you felt good about yourself.”
“No, no,” I protested, “it was all just a joke to make a point about your bunny job ….”
“Oh, Howard, don’t try to lie to me. I Know you well enough. Look, the important thing I’m trying to tell you 1s that it doesn’t matter, at least not to me.”
“Leslie!” I tried to keep my voice down, but it wasn’t easy. “Do you mean that? I mean, really mean it?”
“Yes,” she answered, looking straight into my eyes, “I do”
I tried to look at her just as steadily. “Then I guess I ought to tell you… yes, I did enjoy… that is, it, somehow, dressing up like that felt good … I don’t know if you could understand it ….”
“Why not?” she said. “I know I wouldn’t want to give up the kinds of things I wear for what you wear.”
“But you don’t think that makes me….”
“I don’t care what it makes you! You have to be you, not my idea of you, or anybody else’s idea of you. You have to be what you are, not what someone else thinks you ought to be! The only right I have is the right to know whether you still care about me.”
“Care? Of course I do… but ….”
“And vice versa is also true, you know. You have no right to tell me what I should do, only the right to know if, after the other night, I still care.”
“And do you?”
“Of course, dopey. Why else do you think I’ve been going through all this?!” and she smiled an impish little smile I hadn’t seen before.
“And you know what?”
“No, what?” I asked warily.
She looked me straight in the eyes again and I noticed how very blue hers were. “Since you’ve been honest with me, I think it’s only fair I be honest with you. When I saw you dressed like that, I thought you looked very… sexy.”
You could have knocked me over with a feather (and I know some people who would have done it if they’d been there.)
Leslie’s eyes went down and her voice dropped. “I suppose I should tell you too, that I’ve occasionally wondered about myself and …. well … some of the other bunnies at the club, I think, like other girls, you know, as bed partners … I’ve never … but sometimes I think I could if it was the right person. Now do you still care?”
I took her hand. “Of course, how could I not,” I said.
She smiled one of the nicest smiles I’ ever seen.
Then she leaned over to me and whispered, “And now we’re going to my place to get freshened up and …uh … changed. Then we’re going out to dinner and back to my place for … dessert. Okay?” And she nibbled my ear so there’d be no doubt what she had 1n mind for dessert. That was the second time I had that funny “pit-of-the-stomach” feeling.
When we got to the apartment, the first thing Leslie said was “Look in the bedroom.”
For a moment I thought it was awfully quick work, but then I did look, and there on the bed was a familiar cardboard box.
“How in the world did you get that?” I asked.
“I got it from Audrey who took it away from Joe after he told her it was all a joke and he’d never do it again.”
I thought about what the box meant. “You must have been pretty confident,” I said.
“Not really, Howard.” and she came over and took my hands. She looked up at me, “But I was hoping. If you had been doing this just to ridicule us … l don’t think I could have gone on seeing you, but somehow I didn’t think that was it, at least not for you.”
“Of course not, and remember, you really had been giving me a hard time about your bunny job.” “I realize that, and I think I can find a way to make it up to you….”
“I’ll tell you after dinner. Right now, let’s get you dressed.”
“But I am …” “No, silly, I mean dressed right! I can’t be seen with a girlfriend who wears jeans and a crummy old
Navy jacket and men’s shoes. People would think I’m a lesbian.” She patted my behind. “And I guess they’d be right, at least in certain cases.”
This time, Leslie helped me with the makeup and it came out better than ever. She had a couple of wigs and she tried one on me. It was black, shoulder-length, done in a flip.
“I lke your own color better,” she said, “but this is a good length on you. Now then, what to wear.”
“Do you have the dresses Eddie brought?”
“No, they went back to Aunt Sophie. Besides, they weren’t right … they were evening dresses and we’re hardly going to the Ritz. I did manage to go by Sophie’s shop and get your shoes, though. It was a good thing they were easy to spot.
“But if you don’t have those dresses ….” I began.
“You’re a little too big for my clothes, but I have a cousin whose about your size, and she gave me some things a while ago. Now get into your bra and panties.”
I got dressed, this time relaxing and letting myself enjoy the sensuous feeling of the smooth fabric against my skin.
By the time I’d put on my heels, Leslie was back in the room with an armload of clothes.
“Grrrrrrr!” she said, but it was more a purr than a growl.
Her cousin’s things fit fine, and after a touch-up to my lipstick and a light spray of cologne which nearly caused a complete sensory overload, we went to dinner, both looking very stylish. We picked a quiet place a fair distance from campus. Even so, my nerves were so strung out I could hardly eat, but everything went fine.
Back at the apartment, Leslie started to undress me.
“Hey, wait!” I said.
“Relax,” she said, unbuttoning my blouse, “enjoy …”
“It is nice,” I admitted.
“I’ve always liked it when you did it to me.”
“That’s a swell idea,” I said, and I began to unbutton hers.
Her fingers were running up and down my back under the blouse. I caressed her waist, Just at the lovely hollow before the flair of her hips.
“You’re very distracting,” I said, “but what was this idea of yours you promised to tell me?”
“Well,” she said, nuzzling my shoulder and somehow at the same time slipping my blouse off, “If you really want to have atry at being a bunny,” and now her hands were at the back of my skirt, “I’ll help you.”
“That’s an interesting thought,” I said, unzipping her skirt. It fell to her ankles and we were standing there, arms around each other, 1n bras and bikinis. Through the sheer fabric of her bra I could see her nipples, erect and excited.
“Chilly out, is it?” I said.
“That’s not the reason, silly,” she said. “Let me show you.”
She unhooked my bra; I unhooked hers.
“A bunny,” I said, “that’s a very interesting idea.” And then her hands, warm and gentle, were taking down my panties.
And if she does help me have a try at being a bunny, I’ll let you know all about it. For the moment, though, I’m well… otherwise occupied.