sexy sissy sexting

House StaffDeep Dish5 Comments

sexy sissy sexting
Valentines is a day for love and lovers. A day for flowers, romance, and candy hearts. A day for Cupid, kisses and snuggling galore!
Love is in the air!

 

But how do you communicate to your Superior in this modern age other than on your knees? According to a leading mobile provider, Valentine’s Day is the most popular holiday for text messaging. From February 13th to the 14th, there’s a colossal 33% spike in texting traffic.

It’s time to take your sexting game to the next level, sissy!

some sexy sexting ideas!

“Just saw something really hot that made me think of you.”

“What would you like me to wear to bed tonight?”

“Would you like it if i made out with another sissy?”

“This sissy just doesn’t know why, but all she want right now is sex.”

“This sissy dreamt she was your sex slave last night, it was hot — very hot”

“If you can guess what color my panties are, then you get a blow job when you get home.”

sexy sissy shorthand

So if you are not using the Sissify Talk2Me services, it stands to reason that you should brush up on your text messaging shorthand while texting your Superior. Here’s a few popular abbreviations (and a few House specials) to remind you:

XOXOXO [Hugs & Kisses]

4EAE [Forever and ever]

4U [For you]

AML [All my love]

D8 [Date]

FTBOMH [From the bottom of my heart]

GNSD [Good night, sweet dreams]

H2CUS [Hope to see you soon]

ILU [I love you]

IMU [I miss you]

ISLY [I still love you]

IWALU [I will always love you]

KOTC [Kiss on the cheek]

KOTL [Kiss on the lips]

MUSM [Miss you so much]

QT [Cutie]

TOY [Thinking of you]

URH [You are hot]

UW [You’re welcome]

house specials

YSC [You’re so cute!]

JDM [Just do me!]

SOTM [Strap one to me]

IS [I submit]

SM [Spank me]

CISYC [Can I suck your cock]

BMO [Bend me over]

2G2BT [Too good to be true]

TPP [Tucked, plugged and pantied]

Back to School Sissies

House StaffDeep Dish1 Comment

It’s that time of the year when after such a lovely summers break you have to get back to school – but what should you wear?

Now, we know you girls and your Mistresses like to see you looking suitably attired but many of you struggle with your proper uniform. It doesn’t matter as to your favoured school colours, the issue is the type of school girl you are or want to be. We classify them simply as: Sissy nerd or Sissy slut

schoolgirlsSissy nerd

If you’re the school swot you’re a very good girl and teachers pet. Your only intention is to study hard and get exemplary grades. Boys pay you no interest other than asking for help with their homework. You therefore want minimal distraction so will wear a uniform that is prim and proper and adheres to school guidelines like glue. Knee-length skirts or tunics, long socks and flat shoes are a must. Your underwear will be practical and comfortable, especially since you have absolutely no intention of showing them to anybody. And please sissy nerd – no make-up.

Sissy Slut

If you’re the school whore or slut just think opposites apply. You don’t give a damn about your education, you want to have fun, screw every boy in town and flirt with the teachers like the wild child you are. You want all the boys fantasizing over you and live to tease them heartlessly. Your uniform will break every school rule. You’ll want to wear skimpy panties or thongs, fishnets stockings (preferably ran to show that you’re a rebel). Heels are a must and they need to be sufficiently high so you totter with a suggestive swagger and click loudly on the floor so everyone knows when you arrive. Skirts must be so short they could be confused for a belt, and tops so tight and semi transparent they burst open in a feeble attempt to contain your developing bust.

Simple.

Now source you respective school uniform and get some photos taken so you can impress your House mates with your new school status.

Check into the Behaviour Modification AssignmentsissySex School” for even more information on being everybody’s favorite slut.

Be sure to take the Photo Assignment to ensure you look your best. But for a quick tip. Remember the golden rule – sissy nerds should be pictured on a desk studying, surrounded by books whilst sissy sluts should be bent over a desk being plundered with a que of eager guys awaiting their turn!

Invasion of the Pines

Madame Stewart1 Comment

Invasion of the Pines

While most vanilla folks Fourth of July plans may include a hearty barbecue and some fireworks, something girlish and more spectacular has been going on in Fire Island, off the coast of Long Island, New York, for over 40 years.

“The Invasion of the Pines” is an event in which drag queens, trannies and sissies, and their loving fans come together to declare their independence.
This year’s Homecoming Queen is San Francisco’s Ginger Snap and her theme is Studio 54.
You can expect massive crowds to watch performers don topical and fantastical costumes and, generally, just have a blast.

Invasion of the Pines

Independence Day, 1976: ‘We’ve come to bless the harbor’

1976 Arrival

The First Invasion in 1976

Local lore goes that around May 1976, a drag queen named Teri Warren was denied service at an establishment in a more posh and conservative section of the island because he was in full drag. The owner, John Whyte, it is said, claimed it was a “family restaurant.”
Warren and his friends became more incensed about the incident as time passed. July Fourth was nearing and the United States was preparing for its bicentennial, with hundreds of ships from all over the world coming to New York to celebrate.
Thom Hansen, 63, is also known as the drag queen Panzi.
As a friend of Warren’s, Hansen says he was the “instigator” to take a stand.
On the Fourth that year, Hansen was in his house in the more liberal Grove section of Fire Island celebrating the bicentennial with two women and seven men.
It was then and there that they were inspired to dress in full drag, form their own flotilla on a water taxi and storm the beach in the neighboring community.

“We took the boat into the Pines harbor and we were absolutely terrified,” Hansen says. “We were all gung ho while we were sitting there drinking having a hell of a good time, saying ‘yeah, yeah, let’s go show them’… when we really got there we panicked.”
Except the reception was grand.

As Hansen tells it, their water taxi approached the pier and “like over a thousand people were focused on this little boat we were in.” Eventually someone asked Amelia Migiliaccio, one of the women on board, “What are you doing here?” Panzi replied: “Tell them I’ve come to bless the harbor.”

Hansen was elected Homecoming Queen that first year and the next.

For independence, fun and love

For the second year of the Invasion, the number of main participants grew from nine to 19.
“It was just pure camp, pure fun,” Hansen recalls. “We were celebrating cross-dressing, we were getting our message across and at the same time we were having a good time.”
Susan Kravitz, 73, is a photographer with a background in sociology who has been attending the event on and off since 1985.
 Invasion of the Pines
Kravitz says the Invasion has been important and meaningful to people fighting for their human rights and freedom of expression.
In the book, she highlights the climate during the 1980s and 1990s — the height of the AIDS epidemic — saying it was a time of “so much death” but “the Invasion continued as a time to let go of illness.”
 Invasion of the Pines
Lorraine Michels has been documenting the Invasion since 1994 and also published a book: “The Invasion of the Pines: 40 Years of Fun, Frolic & Fantasy, 1976-2015.”
Michels, whose partner, Joan Van Ness, is the only female Homecoming Queen in the event’s history, describes the “glitz, glam, creativity, pride and excitement” of the day. The “feeling of family, it’s indescribable” she says. This year she plans to dress in white with a sequined red, white and blue vest.
Images from both books show drag queens dressed as Marilyn Monroe, nuns, Dorothy, Liza Minnelli, Cat Woman, Elvis, 1920s flappers, showgirls, Girl Scouts, the Pope and Jacqueline Kennedy.
Justin Johnson, also known as Alyssa Edwards from “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” is a performer who first experienced the Invasion in 2016 and will be hosting a pool party again this year.
Johnson says he only knew he was going to host an event, but when the boat pulled up “it was unbelievable.”
“I think this event is so full of love,” Johnson says.
“It’s an Independence extravaganza encompassed by love.”

Getting political

Hansen (Panzi) says the Invasion is not affiliated with any political party, but that doesn’t mean politics don’t come into play.
Invasion of the Pines
“Although it’s not political in nature, I have over the years been known to make political statements,” Hansen says.

He recalls his favorite costumes from last year being two women dressed as Donald Trump and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie.

What can people expect this year?
*SPOILER ALERT: Hansen’s outfit is getting topical.*
“All of the people who are working to sell the tickets and security will be dressed as Mexicans, and I will be dressed as a Mexican senorita,” he says.

“And my entrance will be breaking through the wall.”

Another gesture the audience will notice is a tribute to Gilbert Baker, the man who designed the rainbow flag.

Baker passed away this year, so Hansen says everyone on the boat will be carrying a rainbow flag to honor his memory.

“When we go into the Pines harbor we’ll all wave it … and we’ll have a moment of silence for him on the dock, so that’s another statement.”Invasion of the Pines

Out at 90!

House StaffDeep Dish5 Comments

out at 90!

A transgender World War II veteran proves it’s never too late to live life truthfully.

Patricia Davies, from Leicestershire, England, didn’t decide to transition into a female until she turned 90 years old.

Davies — born Peter — has known she was a woman since she was just a toddler.

“I’ve known I was transgender since I was 3 years old. I knew a girl called Patricia, and I decided I wanted to be known by that name but it didn’t stick,” Davies told Caters News Agency.

Davies kept her identity a secret for most of her life for fear she would be shunned by her peers or forced to undergo electric shock treatment.

“The atmosphere [around being transgender] was not safe. People did not understand what transgender was,” Davies said.

Davies — who served in the army between April 1945 and 1948 — said coming out as transgender would have categorized her as a homosexual, which wouldn’t have been accepted in the army.

Despite losing friends and cheating death while serving in the armed forces, she says she’s glad she got to have the experience.

“I feel quite proud having served during the war and having done military service, in particular during the trouble in Palestine,” said Davies.

Davies, who married when she was 21, eventually came out to her supportive wife in 1987. Her wife, to whom she was married for 63 years, bought Davies jewelry and dresses that she could wear in private. Sadly, her wife passed away six years ago.

“I was 60 when it all came pouring out to my wife, she was very sympathetic and helped me all the way, but we agreed to keep it quiet,” said Davies, who first learned about transgender identity from a TV show sometime in the 1970s.

When Davies first came out to her wife, she decided to wear high heels but was deterred when teenagers saw her and threw eggs at her window.

Now a nonagenarian, Davies has begun taking estrogen to move her transition forward and has come out to her community.

“It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was living a lie,” she told Caters.

“I have been keeping quiet. I have slowly started to tell some of my neighbors. Everybody said, ‘Don’t worry, as long as you’re happy,’” she added.

Patricia was inspired to make the big change from male to female after seeing the romantic comedy film “Boy Meets Girl,” which features transgender characters.

Now that transgender people are portrayed often in film and on TV, Davies feels more comfortable being herself.

“It’s not 100 percent safe now but it’s much better than it was. People that I have told seem to be very accommodating and haven’t thrown abuse at me,” she said.

“I joined the Women’s Institute. I socialize with them and have a natter [long chat]. I’m having a great time. I have a new lease on life,” she added.

An Artist and Her ‘Beautiful Boy’

Madame StewartDeep Dish6 Comments

beautiful boy

In their intimate portraits, the photographer Lissa Rivera and her partner, BJ Lillis, are building their own fantasy world.

On a long subway ride three years ago, BJ Lillis decided to share something with his friend and co-worker, Lissa Rivera. Mr. Lillis, who describes himself as genderqueer, told her that he had spent most of his college years dressing, full-time, in women’s clothing.

But in the professional world, he’d lost his confidence. To help him regain it, she offered to take his photograph.

Mr. Lillis had never really seen himself, dressed as he wished, in a carefully made portrait.

“So much of identity is constructed from looking at pictures,” Ms. Rivera said in a recent interview. “Looking at photographs and looking at a film can really change who you are.”

The two have made dozens of images since, in a project called “Beautiful Boy.” An exhibition of the same name opens June 1 at the ClampArt gallery in Chelsea.

The first test images were shot in 2014 in Ms. Rivera’s apartment. She posed on her own, swathed in fabric from a neighborhood store, before posing Mr. Lillis.


“When we took the first photo,” Mr. Lillis said, “I felt like I’d never had my photo taken before.”

That impromptu portrait session stirred something between the two of them. Over the following months they became a couple. And when they returned to the project, they brought the energy of a new relationship to it.

“There’s a real kind of honeymoon period that people have mentioned in the earliest pictures,” Ms. Rivera said. You can see as much in “Boudoir,” from 2015, in which her hand appears, disembodied but tender, brushing Mr. Lillis’s hair.


The portraits borrow from early 20th-century fashion photography and classic cinema, where elegance can blend with the surreal. Ms. Rivera cites the early Vogue photographer Cecil Beaton as one of many influences.

The couple did as many as four shoots a week in their spare time. Some were tightly composed interiors, with props and costumes chosen by Ms. Rivera.

In another 2015 image, “Mirror With Jewels,” Mr. Lillis is reflected in a vintage makeup mirror, its frame draped with beads and jewelry, elements that help code his visage as feminine. But an almost imperceptible wave in the glass slightly exaggerates half of his face, making him appear less symmetrical than he is.


The image exposes an intimate moment between the artist and her subject. Ms. Rivera designed the image, but Mr. Lillis’s direct expression makes it connect with the viewer.

“The work really gives permission for women to look at women and for men to look at men,” Ms. Rivera said, “and for people to be nothing or anything or everything.”

They began to travel with the project in mind, finding more locations in Virginia, California and Italy, among other places. Ms. Rivera scoured hotel and Airbnb listings for the right kind of moody spaces. The images also grew larger in scale, taking in whole rooms and connecting Mr. Lillis’s poses to the setting, implying a narrative.


In “Motel, Virginia II,” Ms. Rivera wanted to call up the intrigue of a Hitchcock film, with the gathered tension in Mr. Lillis’s erect posture and his gaze — anxious or expectant? — out of the window.

For Ms. Rivera, working with her romantic partner was a revelation. “This is what Cassavetes and Fellini and Bergman must have felt like,” she said.

In other works, Ms. Rivera sought out locations with just the right atmosphere, places that tend to be at once glamorous and desolate.

Inhabiting these places is important in shaping her photographs, she said, “trying to imagine what it was like to be a woman during the time when these spaces were new. “

But Mr. Lillis is always at the center. He is often dressed gracefully, sometimes nude and always vulnerable.


In the most luxuriant images, Mr. Lillis’s expression is often pensive, with a tinge of sadness. The melancholy, he said, comes from “thinking about the reality of gender and different roles that people have been stuck in.”

But in surrendering his likeness to his partner, Mr. Lillis also found a path toward liberation. “I’m being myself in every one of these photos,” he said.


After three years of work, he added, the photographs could be seen as “an autobiography of our fantasies.”

“Our relationship was in some ways created out of taking these photographs,” Mr. Lillis said, “and the photographs were created out of our relationship.”

“Beautiful Boy” runs June 1 to July 15 at ClampArt, 247 West 29th Street, Chelsea; clampart.com. Lissa Rivera and BJ Lillis will give a gallery talk there on June 10 at 3 p.m.; they will also appear at the Mid-Manhattan Library on June 22.


Foot Worship For Sissies

House StaffDeep Dish3 Comments

Shoes of Worship

When was the last time you stooped so low to care for your Goddesses’ feet?

Being a Dominant Woman in the workplace – many of Us wear Our best power pumps as We click Our heels down the halls, keeping an eye on Our pathetic interns. Many miles are put in Our heels, and by the end of the day – Our feet need love. Your love!

Be honest with yourself and if not within the last seven days, hitch your skirt high. get on your nylon covered knees, bow low – and show your Superior how much you really care.

Serve at My Feet Sissy Fool

Looking after your Superiors feet is not as straightforward as you may imagine and to do a job deserving of any praise you must master the art of foot massage, pedicure and foot worship like a pro.

Only then, when at your Mistresses feet will you be able to view the infinite height of Femininity which you hope to ever reach.

So come on girls – stop dreaming and get to work. This type of work is right up your alley.

Start by completing the three-fold Foot Worship assignment in our ‘Place & Worship’ area under ‘Behaviour Modification Assignments’ then set to work.

When adequately prepared wear your best panties and a suitably short sissy maids dress and grovel low at Her feet. Then devote yourself mind, body, and spirit to your servitude and she might, if you do an exemplary job, befitting your lowly status, allow you to lick her lovely toes.

Study hard girls, write those reports and submit some glorious photographic evidence of your compliance! And prepare to be graded! We are watching you!

You need a Tramp Stamp!

Madame StewartDeep Dish11 Comments

Tramp Stamp
“Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bull’s-eye.”

The British call it a “slag tag,” and the Germans call it “ass antlers.” Why should a sissy get a tramp stamp? Because you are a fuckslut, and you know it and everyone else should know it too. You’ve trained hard, and you want to show the top riding your ass that you care about them – that you even want to entertain them!

It can also be used to offer a sneek peek under your panties to show the world your true intentions of taking the whole world to bed!

 

This one screams “Ride me like the slut I am!”

 

Say it like it is, in celtic!

“The bigger the stamp, the bigger the tramp.”

The true Tramp Stamp!

 

Pink hearts

Pink hearts – Our favorite kind!

 

Here's a sexy one!

Here’s a sexy one!

 

Are you a dirty girl?

Are you a dirty girl?

 

Nice and positive

Now that’s nice and positive!

 

Cherry bomb!

Cherry bomb!

 

Believe in anal

Not sure what paul has to do with it, but We believe in anal!

 

That's straight to the point!

That’s straight to the point!

 

Trained by The House of Sissify

Our recommendation for all of Our girls!

 

You need to go to London. Now.

Madame StewartDeep Dish3 Comments

Style Me Quirky
There I was, flipping through photos of the girls on FaceTube. Looking for that perfect face that might just make Our next Princess on Parade – when I ran into Poppy Cox at Style Me Quirky. A London UK dressing service and photography studio.

Style Me QuirkyStyle Me QuirkyI was so excited about the quirkiness of this photo I had seen, I reached out to Poppy and he started telling Me about all the “damn exploitation happening to the community“, thinking that I, Ms. Stewart – the well known WebMistress of the House of Sissify was in fact one of the newbie websites copying Our content and offering the world to girls, often to just sell them some phone sex time. <sigh> “Oh. Do tell more” I thought as I played along enough for him to indulge me with all of his thoughts. It was an earful, but it was brutally honest and frank, and I must say – an opinion on the internet state of affairs shared by Myself and the Staff of the House! He was an advocate to Our girls and community!  I could never have learned the sincerity of Poppy without this mishap, however embarrassing it was.

After his dressing down – I politely stated.. “I think you have Me and the House confused with some other website… We’ve been online since 1997….”

Oh My God. Next email fired back so fast!

He gushed! After a bunch of apologies and laughs, realizing he too was a member of the House of Sissify, We hit it off and were giddy with how Our intention and calling were aligned. The House of Sissify trains sissies. Style Me Quirky dresses and photograph sissies. Brilliant!

Style Me Quirky is a transformation studio in London that takes you for a walk on the wild side of crossdressing. And it shows by their photo sets! The antithesis of standard dressing services, Style Me Quirky appeals to your inner diva big-time. And whats more, they LOVE sissies and sissy babies! Get comfy in your frilliest frock and read on about their fantasy makeover photo shoots!

Poppy Cox

Poppy Cox

Set up and run by trans founder Pops (AKA Popcox or Poppy Cox) and his team, Style Me Quirky create makeovers that are special, exciting, unusual. Who wants to go to all the effort of dressing up to feel ordinary? Not Our girls!

If you want to be the plain-Jane girl next door, Style Me Quirky probably isn’t for you. But if you want to be a glamour girl show-stopper it may just be time to start saving for your ticket to London!

Poppy tells us, “When I first started up I pushed the sissy look as its one of many personal favourite looks and recognised it was a popular style among the community. I did a few really cute fun shoots with some sissy girls in the early days and had an adorable sissy baby girl along, I still love those photos as I think she looks so cute and innocent! I sourced and collected more sissy dresses over time and now I have a pretty big sissy collection of sissy clothes ready to be flounced around in!”

How perfect for your submission for Princess on Parade! And you know how We love beautiful photos of you!

“It’s wonderful the House of Sissify got in touch, I genuinely hope we find a few sissies who want the cutest, frilliest adorable makeovers imaginable. From sissy girls to sissy baby girls and beyond, Style Me Quirky warmly welcomes you all with balloons and teddy bears waiting! “

 

Life is short. Live a life more Quirky.

Easter DressStyle Me Quirky are a truly bespoke dressing service and are unique in their in-depth consultation and personal service from the moment you book. No turning up, having a makeover and just picking some random clothes to try on; they take your measurements and work with you to build your own picture board of styles and looks you’ve always dreamed of. From there they painstakingly pick and source outfits especially for you from their own expansive stock of outfits as well as purchases, hires and loans from various shops, contacts and costumiers they work with. By the time you arrive you have your own rail of carefully and creatively styled outfits especially to suit your tastes and of course your body shape and size.

The professional makeovers are different every time – no ‘one look suits all’ and are especially developed around your style board bringing your dream looks to life while being complimentary to your face shape.

Style Me Quirky pride themselves in their distinct photography style and service too. A fully professional photo shoot with Pops or one of his several professional photographers, its not the same old sofa in every shot or a plain background, they use props, build sets and even take you out on location for that special added excitement and drama. Not only do you get the perfect shots, you get Pops’ overflowing enthusiasm and wealth of experience modelling to help you with your deportment and posing so you can go from wooden scarecrow to cover girl poses in minutes!

Putting the unique personal service to one side, the thing that really makes Style Me Quirky stand out is just how much Pops and his team care and enjoy their work giving you the time of your life dressed en femme. Its not just a job to Pops, he genuinely believes you deserve better and he’s created something to make you feel as special on the outside as your do on the inside.

And that my dear is why you should get your photo shoot done in London.  Seriously.

 

 

The journey of dimitri

House Staff3 Comments

Dimitri is a sweetheart

At the age of 14 Dimitri told his parents he was a girl. They reacted by admitting him to an institution and when out, secretly medicating him through the food his mother prepared for him. He fled to Athens and was homeless for years, returning to his tiny village to take care of his sick mother— for 25 years. Once she passed away, Dimitri started wearing women’s pants and shirts and only in 2014 did he put on a dress and walk around outdoors in his tiny home village of Skala Sikaminias on the island of Lesvos.

We thank Rory Aurora Richards for sharing her experience.


I was starting to worry it wouldn’t happen. Not only was I running out of time, it was my last day in the 300 person Greek fishing village of Skala Sikaminias.

I had an idea in my head, and a very strong instinct to capture a local, named Dimitri, on camera. However I couldn’t do it alone, and I was finding it impossible to find anyone with a camera that would take my interest in Dimitri seriously.

‘He’ is known by locals as the crazy village cross dresser in the tiny town I was staying in on the Island of Lesvos. I saw her every day, strolling around the village alone, peacefully. Seemingly unfettered by the snickers and eye rolls that would erupt her wake.

Then I met a Swedish man named Torbjörn Stenberg. We met by chance at breakfast in the village and I mentioned my interest in learning Dimitri’s story, and capturing a sliver of it on film to possibly entice a filmmaker to see Dimitri as a subject of a documentary.

‘I know exactly who you are talking about.’ said Torbjörn, ‘ I think it is wonderful. I’m not a professional, but I have a camera. Let’s do it!’

Finally, someone who didn’t think I was crazy!

Now before I start to tell Dimitri’s story, or at least a part of it, I need to put one matter on the table, and that is the issue of which pronoun to use. I asked Dimtri about identifying as male or female, and, not that it was a surprise, the answer was female. So I will refer to Dimitri as ‘she’ from now on. This story is told with consent and blessing.


We arrived at Dimitri’s house on Christmas eve.

She greeted us in a hot pink cocktail dress, pearls and a smile that was worthy of crowning a Christmas tree.

She was beaming.

Her house is a modest village abode. The floors and walls are concrete, and the smell of moisture tinged the drafty air inside. There is no indoor washroom, only a wash closet outside on the porch with a simple tap and toilet.

The furnishings are likely the original pieces Dimitri grew up with as a child. It is the house she was raised in with her parents and siblings. Although the environment reveals it’s age, it is clean and tidy, and the weathered walls of every room are covered with colourful religious imagery and family photos that have been placed with thoughtful symmetry and care.

We have brought wine and pizza from the taverna and settle in at the dining room table to talk. Dimitri tells us that this is the first time anyone has come over to visit her.

Really?

Yes, really.

Christmas music plays in the background and festive decorations are displayed throughout her home. I am touched by the enthusiasm in her solitary world. I enjoy a bouquet flowers on the table, but as a person who also lives alone, I generally hesitate to buy them unless I have guests coming. I appreciate the effort Dimitri has made to create a warm and personally expressive environment for herself. It shows presence and self care, and I admire it.

She is delighted, excited and a bit overwhelmed to finally have guests in her home. She offers us homemade liquor several times but keeps forgetting to bring the glasses to the table. There is so much she wants to show and share with us that it is hard to focus on just one thing.

Fortunately we have 2 young waitresses from the taverna serving as our translators and they manage to make sure we have a glass and a toast as we begin our visit.

Dimitri describes growing up in the small fishing village with her siblings and parents. She describes her mother as a deeply religious and devout woman and a source of true and unconditional love for Dimitri. She describes her father as angry and transient. A father who would go in and out of the family unit, disappearing for periods of time, and the house being a war zone whenever he returned home. But somehow it was still a family, and Dimitri’s parents remained married to each other until they both died 7 years ago. They died within 6 months of each other.

Dimitri said she had a clear feeling from a young age that she was different. When she was 14, she told her parents that she was a girl. An admission that she was consequently removed from the home for, and sent to a mental institution by her devastated and confused parents.

When she was finally allowed to return home, the doctors insisted to her parents that she should remain medicated, possibly for the rest of her life. Dimitri did not want this. She hated the way the medications made her feel. Her parents resorted to drugging her by hiding the medication in her food.

However Dimitri’s sense of self was not something that medication could dissolve, and throughout her teenage years she continued to insist that she was a girl to those that asked. Her natural honesty ostracized her in the village, bringing gossip and shame to her family and more stress to her parent’s already strained marriage.

She certainly did not experience any adolescent romances. Just a series of tragic, secret crushes on boys. There was little chance she would find a boy in the village that would return her feelings. She was an outcast.

She speaks candidly about struggling with suicidal thoughts her entire life, making several attempts at different stages of her life, starting as a teenager.

In her words, the closest anyone ever came to showing interest in her was when she was a teenager swimming nude alone in the ocean. An older man from the village appeared and told Dimitri he wanted to rape her. Dimitri was terrified. This man secretly stalked and harassed her for many of her teenage years.

However looking back, Dimitri has no bitter feelings towards this man, in fact she has compassion. She thinks the man has a dark soul as a result of never having been loved. Dimitri had the security of her mother’s love, which saved her.

Eventually at the age of 20, Dimitri left the village and the Island of Lesvos, and ran away to the big city, living on the streets of Athens for almost 5 years. There she occasionally worked odd jobs in supermarkets, but even in the big city people sensed she was different and again she was sidelined from society. As a result, even in the population of Athens, Dimitri never found love or companionship, except for one woman friend, who was also homeless. They shared a pretend fantasy they were married and would one day have a child.

To have a family of her own is a dream that she has had her entire life.

A dream she believes will make her life complete.

A dream that holds the ‘forever love’ that she has always been missing in her life.

Eventually she was forced to leave Athens when her mother became ill. Dimitri’s older siblings had long since left the village and the dysfunction of their home. There was no one else to care for her mother. Dimitri’s father was too unreliable to be considered a suitable caregiver.

Dimitri lived with and took care of her mother for the next 25 years. Her death was devastating and marked the loss of the only source of companionship and love in her life. She was truly alone in the world now.

The pull of suicide was stronger than it had ever been before. It was then Dimitri decided to do something she had never done before.

She started to wear women’s pants and blouses.

With this shift in external expression came a deep sense of relief and comfort.

Dimitri started to feel better than she had in her entire life.

She felt herself becoming whole for the first time.

I asked Dimitri how the people in the village responded.

Dimitri said they responded naturally, considering they see her as a man wearing women’s clothing. But it wasn’t exactly a surprise to the people in the 300 person village she grew up in, but yes of course, there was a reaction.

She harbors no hard feelings to anyone, because, according to Dimitri, the only thing that matters is being honest. After spending her entire life as an outcast, and her mother now gone, she doesn’t really have anything to lose, except herself. She feels shielded by the authenticity of being her true self, and that, to her, is all that matters now.

Last summer she started wearing dresses.

When I asked her if she feels the need to physically transition to a female, she says no. That she may have wanted to when she was younger, but not anymore. She says that she finally feels natural in her body just as she is. That whether she is wearing clothes or completely naked, she finally feels at one.

At the same time she realizes she is alone, with no friends or companionship, or even anyone to talk to. Dimitri says that the only people that talk to her are the children of the village.

However, despite the social isolation, Dimitri insists that she is happier than she has ever been in her life. She is inspired by music and fashion, spending what little money she has on new dresses or vintage albums. She is a huge fan of the Greek opera legend, Maria Callas…and loves classic screen sirens like Greta Garbo.

dimitri walks amongst her island

Does she ever want to leave the tiny fishing village of Skala Skamania?

No. She is content to live in the house she shared with her beloved mother.

I ask her what she would say to a younger Dimitri…

‘To keep your heart young. To remain pure inside.’

I told her that I have written about her and posted photos, and that many people have been inspired by her.

She blushes with modest delight.

Then I pull out our Christmas present.

She is overwhelmed.

I think it has been a while since she has received one.

Especially one like this.

Inside is her first purse, and a sleek black dress and belt.

And even though ‘black is not her colour’, she loves it.

‘We don’t have fashion, we have style.’ she says, quoting Coco Chanel.

I ask if she had a wish, what would be?

She said she just wants everyone to have peace and respect for each other. That both man and woman embrace each other as one, and come to understand each other.

Dimitri says she has compassion for the refugees because the refugees are escaping something horrible.

They are leaving everything behind and have nothing, and she knows what that feels like.

We end our visit with hugs and kisses.

She says this is the first time she has spoken so honestly about her life, and it feels liberating.

 

Dimitri Welcomes You

 

Outside Dimiri’s house I thank the young taverna girls for taking the time to translate, and commend them on their maturity and presence to hold space and serve as Dimitri’s voice for our visit.

I ask them how that was like for them.

‘I am very surprised. I …of course know, and heard stories about Dimitri…that he is crazy, and on medications since he was very young…but now that I speak with him, I don’t know why he would be on medication. He is normal. I mean, he is different, obviously, but he is not crazy.’

‘I never knew anything about him personally. Just the way he look. I did not know his story. Or her story. She has had such a hard life, but is so positive about everybody.’

‘ I live across the street from Dimitri for many years. Just a few meters from here. I see him in the village and coming in and out of his house. And hear the music that he always plays. But I just never knew all the things that I learned tonight. I don’t know how to say it, but it change for me inside.’

‘I see his face now, and it is natural. It is calm. I did not see him this way before, so natural. He is special person. I did not know he was so alone. I feel very bad. I feel comfortable now to stop and talk, to maybe come here again and take a tea. ’
___

Back at the taverna Torbjörn and I solemnly digest all of what we have heard.

Dimitri has clearly had a very tough life because of her gender.

Neither of us can comprehend her journey, and her isolation.

But we both marvel about her gentleness and poise.

However at times she spoke in religious metaphors that were hard to understand, and could be translated as being a little crazy. But like the taverna girls, we agree that Dimitri is not crazy. But she has spent a lot of time in her own head, and also immersed in religious ideology, which is a strong link to her mother. It is natural that she would search a religious context for some way to explain or find herself. At several points she said that she feels pregnant, and that she is both a man and a woman.

Torbjörn and I both reflect on this point in the conversation with each other and whether she actually believed that, or if she was speaking metaphorically… and if what she was really trying to articulate is that she is ‘twin spirited’.

Torbjörn and I both say the words ‘twin spirited’ at the exact same time.

(I just got goose bumps as I was typing this.)

We are also connecting the dots with things we know to be realities for other trans people like Dimitri…isolation, homelessness, suicide…common markers in the lives of so many trans people that have been marginalized or cast off by a society that did not understand, value or accept them.

Somehow, Dimitri has survived it all. With grace and kindness still in her heart.

Torbjörn and I both wished the language was not such a barrier and that we had more time with her. We both agree that Dimitri’s story is a story that begs to be told, perhaps by an LGBTQ Greek filmmaker. Her story, contrasted by nuances of the village, Greek culture and history, can only be truly captured by a Greek.

If you are reading this and you feel the same, help us reach members of the Queer community in Athens. Let them know Dimitri is in the village, and ask them to reach out to her. May branches of community and friendship be extended to her from all of us .

Thank you, Dimitri.

Thank you for being you,

Thank you for keeping the pilot light of your true self lit for all these years.

The world is a much brighter place because of it.

Long may you reign.

#onelove

Photo Credit: Torbjörn Stenberg
Translation by the taverna girls: Liza Nanasou and Mary Hara

 

 

 

Originally posted at Pappas Post