Spring has sprung!
Do you know what that means? It is the time of the year for renewal. The great renewal – the miracle of life, in all Her splendor; the grand orchestra of birth and the cycles that rule every Woman’s world.
As a bona fide sissy (or is that de-bonerfied?), this event needs to belong to you as well. There is no better way to begin to understand the mysteries of becoming/being a Woman than to give birth, and that, dear little sluts, is what you are about to do in this latest assignment.
This is a very special assignment. One could say We are letting you in on a very sacred initiation amongst Women. Real Men can’t understand this process girls.<sigh> It’s beyond them, considered a “Woman’s thing” as it is much too intuitive and nurturing for their linear minds.
But you, sweeties, are about to become pregnant and have a baby. Don’t you remember that watermelon seed you accidently swallowed awhile back? The intent of this assignment is to teach you the movement of life, as it begins in a healthy fertile womb, is nurtured and coddled and grows, is born forth into the world to continue it’s forward movement, living, breathing, becoming, aging and dying only to be born again.
And how will this miracle of birth happen for you? You will learn the cycle of life by planting your very own baby pansy. (Could it be more appropriate?)
From womb, seed, birth and feeding and care to pruning and cutting and showing off, you will experience the joys, trials and wonders of Motherhood. Reports and photo essays will, as usual be posted at the House for all to enjoy.
Welcome, darlings, to the joys of Motherhood the true essence of Womanhood, the creation of life.
Your Shopping List for this Assignment
(Do be sure and read the entire assignment before doing your shopping so as not to overlook important details)
|The Womb||An empty egg carton|
|The Doctor||Moon calendar|
|The Spermies||Pansy seeds|
|The Nursery||Pot & sunny window space|
|The Nappies||Small smooth pebbles|
|Mothers Milk||Plant food|
|Baby Blankies & Clothes||Ribbons & floral decorations|
Because you have dreamed of this joy every since your girlhood first began, you have taken excellent care of your body. You have kept yourself clean and healthy and are therefore, fertile. You will now choose just as carefully the soil (or planting medium) that will be healthiest for baby pansy. And We mean choose the best. Spare no expense here, nothing is too good for your baby!!!! It is essential that the soil you use be sterile. One of the great bane’s of seed growing (discomfort or even danger to the fetus) is a fungus commonly known as Damping-off Disease. The spores of this fungi are ever present in soil and the conditions of indoor gardening seem to encourage or aggravate this scourge. It can be quite a nasty danger to baby. We are talking terminal diaper rash here, honey. To avoid this scourge you must use a sterile soil. Some gardeners like to use their own soil. This involves sifting out any larger clumps and stones and then sterilizing it in an oven. This is a lot of work and the results are probably no better than using a commercially available starting medium. These usually consist of some combination of vermiculite and peat moss and are often referred to as “soil-less.” When buying a seed-starting medium, make sure it has been sterilized! (In fact, best to get used to the term “sterile” as you will be seeing more of the term and learning how to keep an immaculate environment for your little one.)
Now don’t fly off into a frenzy of confusion here, sweets. Few real Women have had their babies completely alone and unaided!!!! You must ask and learn from those who have experience and answers. Talk to and ask questions from the personnel where you are shopping. The elements and types of soil, and whether or not it is sterilized should be clearly indicated on the packaging, but it is always good for a befuddled mommy wannabe to seek advice. Upon choosing your soil, you will now prepare the womb for the Miracle of Conception.
We are, of course, referring to the germinating container. And what could be more perfect for this than an egg carton? When a real Woman conceives, Her One and Perfect Egg has been surrounded, courted, swooned over and coddled and loved and begged for attention by absolutely hundreds of thousands of spermies. (How befitting!!!) We recommend you fill up each little pocket in your egg container with soil and plant a seed in all of them. May the best spermie propagate!!! Now in doing this, you may have only one pansy germinate for you. you may have twins, triplets or, if you are a truly fertile little bitch, you may have and entire Brady Bunch. We just don’t ever really know till birth, now do we?
(a helping hand from Mother Moon)
You, as any wise Woman would do, must next seek solid supportive advice from an expert. You are turning here to the Mother of all time and growth, the Queen of cycles and tides, the ruler of your sissyhood, Mother Moon. She will guide you with her wisdom and a process called Lunar Agriculture. That is planting by Her grace.
You can either purchase for yourself a Moon calendar, so that you can track Her cycles in signs, or if you choose, follow this link to download onto your computer a daily lunar guide which will show daily changes on your taskbar. (Don’t worry, it’s shareware, honey). http://clysmic.com/lunabar/
(Take Notes, girls!!! This will NOT be easily committed to memory without some effort!)
Choose the best and the brightest seeds for your offspring by using the following guidelines:
Pansies come in three different flower sizes. The largest (3-1/2 to 4-1/2 inches) include the old-fashioned Swiss Giants’ and the newer `Accord‘ and `Majestic Giants‘ series. These big blossoms are excellent for cutting or creating miniature bouquets (showing off baby, more about this later). Medium-size flowers (2-1/2 to 3-1/2 inches) include the `Crown‘ and `Imperial‘ series. The `Imperial‘ series is known for vigorous growth and unique pink shades. We recommend the larger variety, because, as you know, everyone loves a fat healthy baby!!!
Another impressive type of pansy is the Multifloras (1-1/2 to 2-1/2 inches), also known as landscape pansies because they are tough, long-lasting and profuse. A bouncing baby to boast about!! Although the blossoms are smaller than those of other types, they produce so many blooms that it’s difficult to see their foliage. Other noteworthy types are `Crystal Bowl,’ `Universal‘ and `Maxim‘ (all strong bloomers year round). `Purple Rain‘ is a newer group of semi spreading pansies, and with a name taken from that beautiful sissy, Prince… they seem very appropriate! They have more blooms so you can plant fewer seeds. This variety trails, so it lends itself well to the edge of baskets and containers. The ‘Halloween‘ and `Trick or Treat‘ mixes are becoming very popular due to the fact that they bloom well in the fall and they are a dark purple and orange flower with black faces. The `Baby Bingos‘ are also good because they are extremely weather-tolerant and tend to survive the winter well. Two popular colors in this group are the `Rose Frost’ and `White Frost‘ pansies that have soft, elegant flowers.
Modern pansies enjoy one of the showiest color ranges of any annual — the traditional whites, wines, blues and yellows, plus newer pastel shades of watercolor yellow, light pink, baby blue, pale apricot, vibrant tropical oranges and grapes. Many selections have bicolor, streaked or even blotched petals, providing interesting color variation in a single blossom. So give it all some thought, girls. There are many other types and varieties that We have not mentioned here. Again, choose a color that suits the Superior of the house and reflects Her/His tastes. After all, baby will resemble both of you.
The Cosmic Number Three of Creation
Seeds started indoors require the same basic conditions as those started outside. But since their environment must be artificially maintained, it takes a little more attentiveness. Just as for all plants, there are three basic requirements: Soil (see above) , Light and Water .
As we urged special considerations in choosing appropriate soil for your healthy egg, We now insist you take these other elements to mind.
Pansies need at least six hours of sun per day; plants growing in shade will produce fewer blossoms. When seedlings receive insufficient light they become tall and spindly or “leggy.” Little seedling fetus’s need a lot of light. Even if you have a window that receives full sun, you might need to supplement it with artificial light. Ideally, you can place your seedlings in a bright and sunny window sill with access to plenty of fresh air.
Moisture is a somewhat tricky consideration and this is the one that will require the most attention. You want to keep the womb moist, but not let it become wet or soggy. In general, it is best to water from below, allowing the egg cartons to soak up the water like a sponge. To promote germination, many gardeners cover the flats or pots with plastic wrap. This keeps the planting medium both warm and moist, but must be removed as soon as the plants sprout. Otherwise, you risk suffocating your young seedlings.
At this point you will need to keep an eye on things to maintain the proper moisture. If you have a totally artificial setup you will probably be able to predict how often you’ll need to water. If you’re using a sunny window sill, you’ll need to watch more closely. Placing the containers on a raised bed of gravel spread across the bottom of a large pan with a small amount of water can help to prevent your seedlings from drying out. Make sure the water level is below that of the gravel so that the plant containers rest on the gravel and not on the water.
When you have consulted the Moon, when you have chosen a good day for planting, you have poked your little finger about 1/3 rd of the way into the womb and placed there the seed, covering Her gently with soil. You have moistened your womb with the birth waters of life, and are now watching, waiting and likely praying to the Goddess of Creation for you own special miracle to occur.
A wondrous discovery!
Oh My!! You have noticed a certain change in your bodily functions. Dear Aunt Flo hasn’t been in for her usual appointed rounds for a while. Could it be??? you are titillated with anticipation!!
The first thing all of you must do is dress in your frilliest, look your prettiest and run, yes honey, We said run to the corner apothecary and purchase for yourself a home pregnancy test kit. Be sure and buy the one that registers your condition (or lack thereof) with a plus (+) or a minus(-) because they are the easiest to read, as We know how easily you can get boggled.
Run back home and sequester your anxious little self in the bathroom and commence to following the directions. Thoroughly obeying all the paperwork is telling you to do, you wait, breathless with anticipation for the results. After the allotted amount of time you check and Oh My Goddess!!! you discover that you have registered a Negative (-)!! Because you are a sissy pantywimp you will always register a negative for a positive result, but you knew that!
Congratulations, dear sweet sissy slutties!!! You are preggers, honey!
(Get a tissue dear. It is perfectly acceptable to shed a tear of joy!!!)
Your adventure into the cosmic wonders of Motherhood is about to begin. We anticipate you sharing all the news and excitement with your sisters and girlfriends in chat, dears. Discuss amongst each other the suspicions, the excitement of buying the kit and the thrill of testing!!!
Now what does every Woman do when she first discovers this Greatest Blessing? No.1, you Know the drill. Inform your Superior!! Do so in a gentle and appropriate manner. Set the mood! Candle lights, immaculately cleaned house, gourmet dinner in the oven, and greet Her/Him with perhaps a glass of wine so as to relax your Beloved for the impending news. Every Woman knows that hearing this particular news is always a shock at first to her Partner. You, sweetie, have two things to celebrate! They are the advent of your firstborn and the fact that you won’t be seeing Aunt Flo again till baby’s head pops out. Enjoy some libation yourself, but of course, being pregnant, all alcohol, tobacco and junk food is now off the menu!!!!
And so, the waiting begins. Nurturing your womb, you are keeping your soil moist and seeing that your little seedling within is having plenty of access to good light. You wait, and you wait and as you wait patiently, you begin to prepare the nursery for your new little bundle of joy. Be an informed girl!! Read all the packages thoroughly for additional advice and growing tips. Also get gardening and planting magazines. These are your obstetrics/gynocological resources, and every Woman pours over those during the course of her pregnancy.
You will want to choose an adequate and cheery spot in your home for your baby. Again, a bright sunny window sill where there is plenty of light and fresh air. Spread upon your sill a delicate doily lest baby leaks at some point and causes a distasteful water mark upon the sill. Perhaps procure some nice touches for this space, like a picture in a lovely frame of Mistress/Master, a pacifier or other baby item to remind you and your Superior of the great arrival of this new and wondrous living being in your lives. Make it pretty, warm and welcoming.
Of course you will need a crib. That would be the pot that you will move your little seedling into once her little head has popped out of the womb and she takes her first breath of Earth air. Choose a ceramic or clay pot that accents your nursery, making sure that the color is pleasing to your Superior and matches your decor. The pot should have a drainage system, many have an attached tray or matching dish that sits underneath and allows water to drain so that the soil does not become wet and soggy. Soggy soil can damage or hurt baby, No real Woman would think of leaving baby in the bath alone, or not provide dry clean napies. Speaking of nappies, these would be a few small round pebbles that you place in the bottom of your pot to aid with the drainage. On top of the pebbles you will put more fresh clean soil and you will keep the entire area and articles clean, shiny and dust free.
Tend to the nursery each and every day as you await the stork, just as any good mommy would do. Decorate the window as well if possible. Perhaps hang a lead crystal bobble which will throw rainbows through the room and give baby even more reason to smile and shine. Make it pretty. In doing so you are ensuring that baby knows she is welcome and loved. Enclose your nursery in your photo essays. We want to see the enchanted space you have created.
You have purchased a soluble plant food which will promote blooming and rooting, right? There is a product called Pansy Boost, which contains nitrate nitrogen. We recommend any good plant food (ferti-lome makes several). As you have learned from your previous assignments, it is important to discuss with the sales personnel what food do they recommend that will boost your soil for your climate. Get guidance, Good Goddess knows you need it!!!!
The product you decide on will likely be concentrated and you will need to mix it with water. You will need to get one or two baby bottles, sweetie. you can mix the plant food with the water in the bottles and feed each time you water. Again, keep the soil moist, but not soggy. We cannot stress the importance of proper moisture level enough.
If you are bottle feeding, you must sterilize the bottle by boiling it.Boil the nipple as well. If you decide to breast feed, you will not have to sterilize the bottle….however We insist that at each watering/feeding time, you wear your nipple clamps. This will serve to educate you on what a real Woman goes through when breast feeding. The breasts are often sore and tender. Breast feeding is advised over bottles by most baby experts because, you know the old saying, there is nothing better than Mother’s Milk. The decision is yours, however. Be sure what ever you choose, follow the guidelines set forth in this assignment.
It happens!! Checking the womb one fabulous glorious day you see the seedling popping out of the soil. You have given birth!!! Your baby is born!!! It is now that Aunt Flo returns and will likely stay for approximately 2 weeks. Hopefully you have cleaned your entire home from top to bottom to prepare for the arrival of this new and fragile life. And it is time to move her to the nursery. Carefully remove the pocket of soil and place it in the crib and surround and embrace it with more soil. Do your feeding/watering, and now that baby is home in her own environment, the egg carton has become afterbirth and can be discarded.
What a thrill it is to watch the changes in your little one as they happen each and every day. She grows quickly and provides wondrous miraculous moments for you and Mistress/ Master as you watch the growth and marvel at the ways of Mother Nature. If you have experienced a multiple birth, be sure each seedling has her own crib and a toy of her own. Each baby gets her own special treatment. This will be quite and ordeal if you are the mother of sextuplets or more!!! Talk about tender breasts!!!!
If you have carefully followed the directions set forth, you will be treated to blooms and blossoms of glorious color and delicacy. As the blossoms whither after time, you will need to gently pinch them off (pruning) so that another can come forth. This is simply another version of changing baby’s nappie. Each bloom will eventually wither, and another will take it’s place. Keep your darling pruned so that the show will go on and on and on. This is the cosmic wonder of rebirth. Just as a real baby sheds baby hair, and baby teeth, new and better hair and teeth regrow, your baby sheds old petals so that new and better petals can propagate. We all shed skin, and nails as well. This is the cycle of life, birth, death and rebirth that you are now experiencing through this Miracle of Motherhood.
Pamper that baby!
Baby’s bottom will need occasional pampering. It is best to use a good mulch. A mulch, in general, is a material placed on or spread over the soil surface. Mulches are generally used to protect the soil from erosion, conserve soil moisture, and suppress weed growth. Materials commonly used for mulch include compost, grass clippings, wood chips or bark, and sometimes even nut shells. 2. Effects of mulches: Mulches serve as physical barriers that dissipate erosive energy from raindrops, thereby protecting the structure of the soil at the surface (and thus improving permeability of the soil and reducing soil erosion). Mulches may serve as vapor barriers, thus reducing evaporation of soil moisture. Depending upon the type of mulch used, it may shade the soil, reducing weed growth and possibly reducing soil temperature increases due to solar radiation. The type of mulch you choose, will likely depend on your climate. Here again, We recommend you go to the experts! Ask the personnel at the gardening shop. Those people are likely trained to aid in the healthy growth of plants in your specific area. They are your support group for new mommies. Tell them about your new baby, and listen to what they have to say.
Now that baby is blooming and growing and looking so fat and healthy and beautiful, you are wanting to show her off to the world!!! Of course, this includes taking pictures. Almost every new mom is thrilled with photographing baby day by day to record forever the growth and wonders of her darling. We expect no less from you, sweetings. We want to put your baby’s on parade here at the House. So Do keep up with your photos. Other ways to show off baby are creating pretty applications with the petals and blooms. Perhaps make a small dish of potpourri. That is, remove a few petals and dry them either in the microwave or naturally in the sun and sprinkle the dried petals with Mistress/Masters favorite scent. Set the mixture in an attractive container where it can be visually enjoyed and the aroma will gently scent the air.
Mini corsages can be make by plucking a few flowers and tying tiny ribbon around them. These can be worn, placed at the head of the plate at dinner, or strewn about the house to create color and and beauty in any corner.
A bloom with some stem can be placed between wax paper pages and placed in a book for a week or so until it is dried and stiff. You can create greeting cards with these specimens, use melted wax to attach and cover them to an appropriately colored candle, decoupage them onto a wooden slat for a lovely decoration. Place them between 2 panes of glass and seal to create a window hanging, or put them in a picture frame, one that says baby, with pride. And don’t forget to save some for making an ornament for your tree next Christmas, which will be baby’s first!!! Get creative. Do as any new Mother does and show the world your own unique little bundle of joy.
Off to school
At some point, perhaps when pansies are starting to overtake the entire house, you may wish to help your darling to make her way out into the world. What We are suggesting here is that you may desire to start an entire garden in your yard, on your patio or any outside place you have access to. This is sending baby off into the world where she can grow and learn and become her own little flower. There is, as with any Mother, the pangs of letting your sweet child out the door and into the world to experience life on her own, and there is the joy and pride of seeing her take off in her own direction. These are natural feelings shared by all Moms at some point. And many Mommies choose this time to conceive and have their other babies. This can go on forever as you explore and experience maternal pulls within you.
When real Women can’t have babies any more, they often experience this maternal instinct in the nurturing and coddling of their grand babies. You, too, sweet sissies, can go on from here to build as large a family as you like. And a garden will be a wonderful experience for you as well as a pleasure for Mistress/Master to enjoy. Branch out, as it were. Try next, perhaps, vegetable, herbs or other more exotic perennials. Anywhere further that you take this assignment will only serve to add to your bona fide sissy hood, creating a better more rounded girly girl within.
We celebrate that, as you know, and are now waiting in breathless anticipation for the arrival of the first pictures.